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Greg Roberts- Location : Hempstead, New York
Join date : 2020-12-10
Posts : 10
How to Turn on a Computer
12/24/2020, 8:29 am
Step 1:
Locate the computer.
Assuming you exist in 4D cartesian compliant space, your computer should be located in the area you once left it in. In this case, my computer is located under my desk.
If your computer is not located where it was originally left, it may have changed locations during the time it was not observed. Some prominent locations include:
Once the device has been located, you may proceed to the next step
Step 2:
Locate the power button.
The power button is responsible for putting the computer into the “on” state, presumably switching it from an off state. Typically, the button is localized near the front of the computer, in an easy to reach location. This Red Corsiar Gaming Desktop Case has it’s power button on the left side. Note: this case comes installed with a complimentary restart button, and pressing it will not turn on the computer from the off state, but it will turn the computer on from the on state.
However, since the market is oversaturated with non-space-grade aluminum chassis, you must determine the location of your power button on your own terms. It is necessary to recruit two companions and pack 7-days’ worth of supplies before embarking on this journey. High perception and charisma builds are strongly recommended, but not necessary.
Step 3:
Press the power button.
Buttons are typically mechanical switches which require a mechanical force applied to them normal to their dominant surface face. The newton-force required is negligible for most human-sized humans, but may prove to be a challenge for beings of short stature. It is estimated to take 20 milli-newtons per seconds^2 to push a Sony Wireless Push Button with Radeon Built-in Radeon support. If you cannot produce such an acceleration, pause the video and find such a source.
*Pause for 5 seconds.*
Now that you have your force source, proceed.
You may now apply the force to the button.
Power buttons are distinct from power switches in both build and functionality. However, a power button can accidently become a power switch if held down outside the recommended duration (typically 27 microseconds). Thus, to press the power button correctly, apply the force for a brief moment (displacing the button for under 54 milliseconds), then release (allowing the button to return to a neutral state).
If the button is not released, side effects may occur. These range from trivial to severe and varies depending on your system build. Some of these include:
Assuming you are alive, you have successfully pressed the button and are awaiting confirmation from the electronic elves operating in your Intel Xeon E5-2687W 3.10 Ghz 8-Core LGA 2011 / Socket R Server Processor.
Step 4:
Contemplate why you’ve developed an acute lack of social interact-ability and cannot maintain a relationship for more than 2 days.
You are a young adult, probably between the ages of 23 and 27. You have a stable job, working for a growing startup tech company in the quiet suburbs of Clinton, Georgia. You get along well with all your co-workers, with many of them coming to you for comic relief. You are the heart of any party, getting people hyped up for the sublime and improving their quality of life. You enjoy this and are fulfilled during these events. However, there is a growing abyss in your gut…
Despite knowing all these people, and them having fond recollections of you throughout the years, you cannot help but feel more distant and isolated as the years drag on. You are popular but feel outcast. You have friends but are lonely. This affects your work habits as you develop a sleep disorder. You stay up hours every night, wondering what the source of your unhappiness is.
Ultimately, you realize that the epicenter of your misery is your gross oversight to developing long-lasting and meaningful relationships with those you care about. Your mind jogs with the people you’ve met along the adventure known as life. Your best friends from elementary, the students in your play from 7th grade, your teammates in chess and soccer. You went to a fairly large high school, 2000 people approximately, but you can only recall no more than a dozen meaningful faces. Even then you struggle to reminisce the good times you’ve had with those you remember.
You fall deeper into despair as your memory begins to fail you: do you actually know your companions from years past? You haven’t kept in touch with them since graduation, never once sent them a friendly message or phone call. You don’t even remember their birthdays.
Comfort doesn’t befall you for weeks on end, and you slowly descend further into madness. It starts affecting your daily routines, and your coworkers begin taking notice. You play it off as nothing, following with a cheesy or edgy joke. They shrug it off as well, trusting that you are responsible enough to ask for help. How wrong they are…
Vibrant colors turn dull, your favorite pastimes feel more like a chore than a relief. You become extremely reserved and speak only when spoken to, for fear of revealing your social anxiety to those near you. You accompany your companions to social events, despite knowing fully well your distaste for such things.
What you wouldn’t do to undo this metamorphosis. If only you could go back in time and change your lifestyle. With this knowledge, you could relive life to the fullest, taking risks that seemed outrageous back then, now only seeming like trivial obstacles in your life towards fulfillment.
If only…
Step 5:
Profit.
Congratulations! Your PC has turned on and is operational!
If this video has helped you, please make sure to give it a like, subscribe, and leave a comment with your favorite NVidia gpu is.
Narrators
The Polish Hammer
National Tractor Driving Champion
Admon
Tree (TODO: distort his voice so that it sounds normal to an anon viewer, but we know it’s not)
Claymore
Locate the computer.
Assuming you exist in 4D cartesian compliant space, your computer should be located in the area you once left it in. In this case, my computer is located under my desk.
If your computer is not located where it was originally left, it may have changed locations during the time it was not observed. Some prominent locations include:
- On your desk
- In your chimney
- Bathing in the shower
- Under your bed
- Under your carpet
- Under your doormat
- In your computer
- Kremlin
- Next to your Swingline stapler
Once the device has been located, you may proceed to the next step
Step 2:
Locate the power button.
The power button is responsible for putting the computer into the “on” state, presumably switching it from an off state. Typically, the button is localized near the front of the computer, in an easy to reach location. This Red Corsiar Gaming Desktop Case has it’s power button on the left side. Note: this case comes installed with a complimentary restart button, and pressing it will not turn on the computer from the off state, but it will turn the computer on from the on state.
However, since the market is oversaturated with non-space-grade aluminum chassis, you must determine the location of your power button on your own terms. It is necessary to recruit two companions and pack 7-days’ worth of supplies before embarking on this journey. High perception and charisma builds are strongly recommended, but not necessary.
Step 3:
Press the power button.
Buttons are typically mechanical switches which require a mechanical force applied to them normal to their dominant surface face. The newton-force required is negligible for most human-sized humans, but may prove to be a challenge for beings of short stature. It is estimated to take 20 milli-newtons per seconds^2 to push a Sony Wireless Push Button with Radeon Built-in Radeon support. If you cannot produce such an acceleration, pause the video and find such a source.
*Pause for 5 seconds.*
Now that you have your force source, proceed.
You may now apply the force to the button.
Power buttons are distinct from power switches in both build and functionality. However, a power button can accidently become a power switch if held down outside the recommended duration (typically 27 microseconds). Thus, to press the power button correctly, apply the force for a brief moment (displacing the button for under 54 milliseconds), then release (allowing the button to return to a neutral state).
If the button is not released, side effects may occur. These range from trivial to severe and varies depending on your system build. Some of these include:
- Computer not turning on
- Computer turning off
- Computer hissing defensively
- Electrical fire
- Summoning of an Eldritch god and subsequent death
- IRS comes after you for tax evasion (you can’t run forever, you know)
Assuming you are alive, you have successfully pressed the button and are awaiting confirmation from the electronic elves operating in your Intel Xeon E5-2687W 3.10 Ghz 8-Core LGA 2011 / Socket R Server Processor.
Step 4:
Contemplate why you’ve developed an acute lack of social interact-ability and cannot maintain a relationship for more than 2 days.
You are a young adult, probably between the ages of 23 and 27. You have a stable job, working for a growing startup tech company in the quiet suburbs of Clinton, Georgia. You get along well with all your co-workers, with many of them coming to you for comic relief. You are the heart of any party, getting people hyped up for the sublime and improving their quality of life. You enjoy this and are fulfilled during these events. However, there is a growing abyss in your gut…
Despite knowing all these people, and them having fond recollections of you throughout the years, you cannot help but feel more distant and isolated as the years drag on. You are popular but feel outcast. You have friends but are lonely. This affects your work habits as you develop a sleep disorder. You stay up hours every night, wondering what the source of your unhappiness is.
Ultimately, you realize that the epicenter of your misery is your gross oversight to developing long-lasting and meaningful relationships with those you care about. Your mind jogs with the people you’ve met along the adventure known as life. Your best friends from elementary, the students in your play from 7th grade, your teammates in chess and soccer. You went to a fairly large high school, 2000 people approximately, but you can only recall no more than a dozen meaningful faces. Even then you struggle to reminisce the good times you’ve had with those you remember.
You fall deeper into despair as your memory begins to fail you: do you actually know your companions from years past? You haven’t kept in touch with them since graduation, never once sent them a friendly message or phone call. You don’t even remember their birthdays.
Comfort doesn’t befall you for weeks on end, and you slowly descend further into madness. It starts affecting your daily routines, and your coworkers begin taking notice. You play it off as nothing, following with a cheesy or edgy joke. They shrug it off as well, trusting that you are responsible enough to ask for help. How wrong they are…
Vibrant colors turn dull, your favorite pastimes feel more like a chore than a relief. You become extremely reserved and speak only when spoken to, for fear of revealing your social anxiety to those near you. You accompany your companions to social events, despite knowing fully well your distaste for such things.
What you wouldn’t do to undo this metamorphosis. If only you could go back in time and change your lifestyle. With this knowledge, you could relive life to the fullest, taking risks that seemed outrageous back then, now only seeming like trivial obstacles in your life towards fulfillment.
If only…
Step 5:
Profit.
Congratulations! Your PC has turned on and is operational!
If this video has helped you, please make sure to give it a like, subscribe, and leave a comment with your favorite NVidia gpu is.
Narrators
The Polish Hammer
National Tractor Driving Champion
Admon
Tree (TODO: distort his voice so that it sounds normal to an anon viewer, but we know it’s not)
Claymore
?poster, Sir_Herbert_Pisswhipple and Ghay Ping like this post
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