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Humor: wuss poppin my nigga I’ve been getting rlly lonely without you lately, member dah las time I fcuked ur jaw with my 7.69 incher and you couldn’t say the word “manzanita” for the whole day? my homie those were some good ass times, say wanna send me a picture of ur nipples later?

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Humor: FREE LAWN PATIO EQUIPMENT CALL (231)-566-8513 ORDER NOW FREE SHIPPING ONLY TO IOWA EVERYWHERE ELSE $19.99 SHIPPING I DONT MAKE THE RULES IM SORRY

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Humor: The Misty Peaks. A beautiful place with forests, waterfalls and a nice view of the ocean. But also home to many monsters. From the mighty Rathian to those pesky Bullfango, almost all can live here. But right now, we only care about one particular Monster. A Lagiacrus. The sea wyvern of thunder. On this day it was quieter than usual. He hadn't seen a single hunter or monster yet. But that didn't bother the Lagiacrus, it made the day even better. Because he had found a calm spot near the water, where lots of fish were swimming about, oblivious to their fate. Catching some fish, resting a while, catching some more fish… He'd probably be staying here until nightfall, what else was there to do than eat and enjoy the hunter-free time? Well, there was… something... There was an unknown scent in the air... had someone claimed this fishing spot before him? He heard rustling, turned to the source of the noise and glared at it, waiting for something to come out. Was it a hunter? Sometimes they smelled like metal, sometimes like something that was once alive and other times like things he had never smelled before. But this smell was different. It was cleaner, fresher and more alive. He could've fallen in a bed of flowers and it would've smelled almost the same. A snout came out of cover. He knew who that belonged to, he could remember looking at a Mizutsune with the exact same flower-y head shape. At least similar head shape, he was very far away when he saw it the first time. But now it was looking at him. Did he steal its fishing spot? Was it looking for a fight? Whatever it was, he had to stand his ground, backing off was not an option. Getting into a fighting stance, the Lagiacrus stared at the Mizutsune and waited for it to make a move. Its move was tilting its head a little bit. He waited some more, but it just continued to stare back. He stomped with one of his front legs and made a noise similar to a growl. But all he got in return was a curve on his opponent's muzzle. Was it smiling at him? Well, he didn't know what smiling was so, who knows. It stopped tilting its head and came closer to him, revealing its entirety. How could a monster be so… pretty? He couldn't help but notice it. The variety of colours, the petal like shapes on its head, the fur that looked so perfectly brushed… no, he had to stay focused. No admiring the local wildlife. As soon as he was back to normal thinking he saw the Mizutsune was coming closer and closer quite fast. Quick, think, act before… it was too late. It had knocked him over and had him pinned down. Before he could even try to escape, it had put the tip of its snout on his. Of all things, that was one he did not expect at all. This confused him so much he forgot priority #1: escape and counter attack. So they just looked each other in the eyes. One of them more warmly, the other more shocked-to-death. But hey, what's a kiss without some more luv, hmm? So the Mizutsune rubbed its head against the Lagiacrus' and got off of him. Full of confusion, questions and shock he just continued to blankly stare at the sky above him, where the eyes of the other once were. After a couple of seconds a bubble flew past his field of vision. He looked to the left to find his former rival playing with bubbles out of boredom. Looks like he was absent for longer than he thought. The mighty Lagiacrus got back up on his feet… only to slip and fall back down again. And, it looks like the Mizutsune produces those soapy bubbles with its body somehow, because he was almost entirely covered with them. He heard a snicker and rolled his eyes in the direction of the noise. There it was. With the same curved muzzle it had moments before. Getting back up, without clumsily falling over this time, he came to the conclusion that it didn't come here to fight him. What else it wanted here, was still to find out. Maybe this was all just a hallucination because he ate too much. Or too less? Either way, he felt hungry for more fish. On his way to the water he got stopped. The Mizutsune put its tail in his way. He looked back at it but now the look on its face had changed. It went from a playful smile to a broader smile and lowered eyelids. By now the scent had changed, too. But he knew this scent. At least he thought he knew, he didn't know what was right or wrong by this point. Was that the smell of… No, it couldn't… Or maybe? Was that Mizutsune a female? After it retracted its tail and leaned in closer to him, his thought came to an end. Maybe he wouldn't mind sharing some fish. The Mizutsune brushed its body along the side of the Lagiacrus while moving forward. Once she was in front of him, she lowered her body closer to the ground and looked back at him. There was a war going on in his head. Instincts, emotions and everything else were telling him what to do. While brain, mind, conscience and common sense were fighting for "What the #$%* are you doing?!", instincts were fighting for something else.Every animal wants to survive and carry on the lifeline of the species. But, think, if it would come to eggs, would they hatch tiny Lagiacrus'? Or tiny Mizutsunes? Or Lagitsunes? Or even Mizuacrus'? Survival of the own species, instincts won the war. You don't want to overthink things anyway. So he made his way forward, climbed on the back of the soapy fox and went a little more forward. She answered with a low growl that sounded like she was enjoying herself and wrapped her tail around him. No backing off now. But he still had enough room to move his lower body. Starting a constant back-and-forth motion, even he had to exhale air heavily. He didn't know what to think of all of this. So he decided to think of only one thing right now: finish this little… exercise. The Mizutsune on the other hand… she only had positive thoughts. Why think negatively when you're feeling great anyway. This continued for so long, that even a hunter, thinking his quest's main objective was making all this noise, peeked out of the bushes. After seeing the real source of the noise he wrote a mental note:"At base camp, throw flashbomb in front of self. Maybe two." He'd probably just activate and hold them in front of his eyes. And he'd have to come up with an excuse why he abandoned the quest. The monsters' body heat was increasing. The back-and-forth motion was picking up speed. The Mizutsune couldn't feel better. And suddenly the Lagiacrus started to feel something really warm. The fox growled again. He got as close to it as he could, practically hugging it from behind. The motion stopped. Both monsters were breathing heavily. She released her tail-grip. Lagiacrus went to stand on his own feet again. She smiled at him and rubbed her head against his. He was… happy. He didn't know much about emotions but that didn't stop him from feeling better than ever. And he'd feel awkward just standing there, so he returned the cuddle. This was enough for him to forget the proud feeling of being king of the seas. Right now, he just was the king of something else. The new announced king of soapy bubbles laid down to rest for a while. The maker of the bubbles did also, using the king's neck as a pillow. It wasn't the best pillow, but his high body temperature, that still didn't return to normal, made her feel comfortable enough. They'd rest there until they would feel like standing up again or until those bubbles finally evaporated. Some of them were at questionable places. Whichever happens first. But for now, it was time to rest.

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Humor: I used to be a bing big man in the block. But now I only cross roads.

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